What is "Having It All?"

Many of you have heard about the July/August 2012 article in The Atlantic entitled, “Women Still Can’t Have It All.” Anne-Marie Slaughter has a great point. Women can’t have the perfect home, perfect kids, be the perfect mother and have the perfect career. However, neither can men. Idealism aside, all of that is just plain hard work. It is possible to greatly enjoy your career, work hard to make things happen in your life and have a family. The key is to understand which is most important at any given moment.

This is the eternal struggle of work-life balance. And women, we don’t have the market cornered on juggling life’s demands. These days, life is less like a “Mad Men” episode (I know this because I don’t have a mini-bar in my office and no one is smoking inside) and more like an episode of “Wipe Out.” Especially within bi-nuclear families, men and women alike take more responsibility for the home, the family and everything in between. This leaves us dodging and weaving our way through obstacles. Launching ourselves into slippery situations and sometimes ending up stuck in the mud. But at the end we reach the finish line, look back and think, “I did the best I could, and my family turned out all right.”

I see it myself in real-time. Making the decision by asking myself, “Which is more important at this time?” Do I spend time with the family or workout? Do I take the extra work time or do I have a date night? Life is full of push/pull. Knowing who I am regardless of the situation, what my goals are and living life according to my personal values is what keeps me balanced. It’s far from perfect. But it’s pretty darn great.  

Spring Clean Your Relationships

With all of the Snow White themed movies coming out recently, I am reminded of the original Disney version. Snow White seemed so happy to sing and sweep in that little cottage. These days, cleaning is less of a glorious task and more of a necessity, concentrated mostly in the spring/summer.

As the weather is warming, the kids are fleeing from school and you’re steadily overwhelmed by thoughts of vacation and juggling work-life needs, don’t forget the following tips to clean out your relationships…

1.    Make use of the weather to expand your relationship network. People get out and move more than any other time of the year. It’s a great opportunity for you to join a club or sport to meet new people and make new friends.

2.    Set up special one-on-one time with your significant other. Take some time to get out and hit a music festival with your partner or go canoeing. Do something fun- shared adventure increases positive feelings in a relationship. When out, talk about anything other than the house or the kids.

3.    Pick a goal to reach by September. Goals aren’t just for January. Goals can be to visit your parents more often, try a new activity or simply to work out more often. Picture yourself doing something that would enhance your life experience and take action. Share your goal with others and ask for their support –perhaps they’ll even join you in your efforts.

4.      Make a date with your kids. Time spent running them all over the earth for activities this summer isn’t quality time. Make a date with each child for one-on-one time each month. Let them choose a special activity and just have fun. Those are the memories they will keep. Take a picture of the two of you for the day and start a summer collage frame for them to keep. Memories get made every day – make them good ones.

At the end of the summer, take a moment to see what you accomplished. It’s important to look back on time and see the good things. Did you make a new lifelong friend? Perhaps you enhanced relationships with your families? Maybe you finally cleaned your ill-fitting clothes out of your closet? Any of these is a great accomplishment.

Don’t just let life pass you by. Embrace it, and those around you, to really enjoy your life experience.